Balance
by AliFyre
Summary: Germany has no work to do, and the thought disturbs him far more than it should. Prussia, on the other hand, has far too little to occupy him. Can the brothers reconcile with each other to solve both their problems? A little Germancest fluff/hurt/comfort


"Cancelled?" Germany read aloud for the fifth time, not sure that his eyes were working correctly. Unfortunately for him they were indeed functional, reading the words "meeting cancelled" rather easily from the bright screen of his laptop. Germany's mind raced wildly. What did it do to his schedule if the meeting was cancelled? Surely this must be some sort of joke. His boss knew better than to just cancel on of his meetings on him.

Frantically he picked up the phone and dialed, calling first his boss, then a few other high ranking officials who he worked most closely with. All of them gave him the same horrifying answer - his meetings had been cancelled. He had nothing on his schedule for the rest of the day and all of tomorrow.

"I have… the day off," he murmured to himself as he put the phone down, feeling the strange words pass over his tongue. His heart beat erratically in his chest. He couldn't remember the last time he'd had the day off, but he didn't need to recall it to know that it likely had been unpleasant. He did not do well with unstructured free time. He leaned back and pushed his chair away from his desk, his mind racing. The day off… What to do…

"Well if I have some free time, I may as well be productive," he muttered to himself, pulling out his smartphone. Surely he had something on his to do list that he had not crossed off with his usual efficiency. His heart raced as he scrolled through the list, searching desperately for something, anything that needed to be done. His panic mounted as he grew closer and closer to the bottom without spotting a single item without a check beside it, and he he released a breath he didn't know he was holding when he hit the bottom and found a single task left undone - clean the house. It wasn't exactly his favorite activity, but it was productive, and it would give him time to think of more ways to occupy himself other than panicking about having no responsibilities. Yes. This was good. He'd clean the house.

Standing, he carefully set his desk back in order, checked to see that his hair was properly slicked back and neat in the mirror on the wall, and made his way out of the office. He had a task to do.

~oOo~

"Uh West, what the hell are you doing?"

Germany looked up from the floor he was scrubbing to meet his brother's questioning gaze evenly. "I'm cleaning, what does it look like I am doing?"

Prussia crossed his arms and leaned against the wall, cocking a silver eyebrow questioningly.

"Yes I can see that. What I am wondering is why you're cleaning. Like, doing my chores for me is awesome and all but I kind of feel like an asshole if you do all the work around the house. You gotta let me earn my keep here," Prussia said. "Anyways what are you doing home? Don't you have like, a fuck-ton of meetings to go to?" Prussia's eyes suddenly lit up, sparkling in a way that Ludwig hadn't seen in a long time. "Are you skipping work Lud? Can I do it for you?"

"I- what? No, I am not skipping work, my meetings were cancelled," Germany replied, dropping the sponge in his hand to reach up and pinch the bridge of his nose. "And since when do you want to do work?"

Prussia's face fell. "I'm the awesome Prussia, work is what I'm meant to do. And it gets kind of boring living in your basement," he said with a shrug. "Well if you ever do decide to skip work, you know where to find me," he told his brother with a grin, giving him a thumbs up. "I'll do it, or I'll just take you drinking, either way it'll be a fun time. Now tell me again why having a day off equates to cleaning the house?"

"I'm Germany, work is what I do," he said, mimicking his brother's tone. Prussia snickered.

"Germans are industrious but damn West not that much," he said, not even bothering to hide his smug, amused smirk. "Ever tried watching a football game? I'm sure your Chancellor lady would love for you to go to one with her. Or go hang out with a friend or something. If you give me an hour we can go out to a beer hall, I just want to finish this book I'm reading."

Germany raised his eyebrows. "You're reading a book?"

Prussia looked genuinely offended. "Uh, yeah? I go through like two a day, I get so bored around here. Maybe if you came home from the office sometime you might notice," he quipped, straightening up and squaring his shoulders in an attempt to look self-righteous instead of plain hurt. "This one is actually doing a good job of capturing Old Fritz in all his awesome glory, although it has the wrong day marked for when I trounced that pompous aristocrat and his little Archduchess. I'll have to contact the publisher."

"I don't think the publisher would take anyone calling with a claim to be the personified nation of Prussia seriously, and last I checked you're not an accredited historian," Germany retorted, unsure of how to react to Prussia's unexpected response. Criticizing his brother came easily to him these days, he realized, and he clamped his mouth shut as he realized that his words had stung.

"Yeah but I'm going to be," Prussia spat, his eyes blazing with a dangerous scarlet fire. "Maybe you'd know that too, if you came around every so often."

"Going to be?" Germany asked, cocking his head to the side in confusion.

"I enrolled in a program at Humboldt University, now that it's free and stuff. Plus there's a statue of Old Fritz nearby I can walk past every day, which is pretty awesome. Getting the transcripts and stuff to get in was a bitch, but I got some government people to step in for me and explain the situation. It's been a long time since I went to school, and I want to do something, since apparently I'm not allowed to help govern the country I brought up." A sardonic sneer crossed his face, and Germany was sure he had not seen his brother so angry in years. When was the last time I saw him display any amount of emotion? Germany wondered as he stared at him. When was the last time I actually sat down and talked with him at all? "But I guess all that is not important enough for Herr Germany."

Germany sighed, his chest heavy with newfound remorse as well as the anxiety that had plagued him since he had read that damn e-mail. "I'm sorry Prussia," he breathed, dropping his head. "I just… I don't know what to do when I'm not working."

"Easy, you do something else," Prussia supplied, easily sliding back into his usual sarcasm. He was never able to stay angry for long, especially not at Germany. He was too awesome for such pettiness.

"You don't understand," he said dropping his head.

"Oh yeah? I think I can probably comprehend whatever it is, I'm not stupid," Prussia shot back, missing the sorrow that had cracked in his brother's voice.

Germany took a deep breath, searching for the words. "Whenever I don't have a plan in front of me, I just... I panic. I have no idea what to do. It's like I have to be productive at all times or I am being a waste of space. When they cancelled my meetings, I called every member of the Chancellor's staff to ask for a task to do. It's pathetic," he grumbled, his face flushing. He was suddenly uncomfortable, unused to being so open with anyone. He hadn't talked to his brother so candidly since…

It had been a long time.

There was a rustle of cloth, and suddenly Prussia was kneeling beside him. Germany could feel the heat radiating off his brother's body as Prussia wrapped an arm around him and tugged him into a tight hug. He stiffened, then relaxed, allowing the comforting heat of the embrace to melt away the anxiety that gripped his chest. It had been ages since Prussia had held him like this, and he had to admit he had missed this level of closeness.

"Guess I'm not the best brother either, if I let you develop a complex that bad." Prussia spoke softly, in a voice that reminded Germany of the gentle whispers that had calmed him after nightmares in his childhood. He leaned into his brother's chest, any thoughts of cleaning or work forgotten, allowing himself to live in the calm, present moment. And what a calm moment it was.

"Can we…" Germany began. He didn't want to fight with his brother, he didn't want to go to a beer hall, he didn't want to do anything other than spend a relaxed day with the sibling he suddenly realized that he had missed so dearly. But he couldn't find the words. Fear closed his throat, and suddenly he could barely breathe, let alone speak. Germany was excruciatingly torn between thoughts of relax, you deserve it, and work you worthless little shit, and the latter voice was winning. He was nothing if he didn't work, and he knew it.

"Can we what?" Prussia asked, pushing Germany back from his chest to get a better look at him. Catching sight of Germany's tortured face, his eyebrows drew up in sympathy, and he couldn't help downward tug on the corners of his mouth, no matter how much he wanted to look positive and strong for his brother. He recognized this, and he hated himself for it.

"Oh Lud," he said, bringing his brother's cheek to rest over his heart and tangling his fingers in the other's blond strands, which were still stiff with gel. "We're gonna stay in tonight, okay? We'll do little tasks, we'll get things done, but there'll be no stress, ok?" He moved to wrap himself around Germany, squeezing him in what he hoped was a reassuring manner. It was strange to hold Germany like this, feeling how large his little brother felt in his arms. The last time he had held Germany this close he had been younger, thinner, a man but yet a young one. The warmth he felt holding the grown adult was different from the hot fire he had felt for that young man, and more different still from glowing affection he had felt for the small child that Germany had been long ago, and he wondered absently what had changed.

"I'm also off tomorrow," Germany rasped, his throat still feeling painfully shut.

"Well then we'll relax tomorrow, too," Prussia supplied easily.

"But how? What will we do? What time should I wake up? Will we be going somewhere? Should I make travel arrangements? I'm not supposed to leave the capital without letting the Chancellor know-" Germany began to babble nonsensically, his eyes face stricken with panic.

"West, Germany, Ludwig, hey Lud, Lutz!" Prussia shouted, finally succeeding in startling his brother out of talking for long enough to bring him back to awareness. Germany looked up at him with wide eyes, and Prussia's heart clenched. "Lutz, it's okay. You don't have to have a plan. We can just wing it," he soothed, rubbing circles into Germany's muscular back.

"No, I can't," Ludwig protested, his lip quivering. Gilbert swore it should not be possible for such a large man to look so damn vulnerable. "It doesn't work that way."

"Shh, okay. Let's plan then. We're going to make dinner. Basic stuff, Wurst and mashed potatoes, and then we can wash the dishes afterwards," Prussia told him. Germany looked like he wanted to add more, so Prussia stood and hauled his brother to his feet, ushering him into the kitchen with stern directions to get cooking before he could start thinking too much. The blond quickly set to work, already looking more calm, and Prussia allowed himself to relax a little. Little steps, he thought as he watched Ludwig move methodically around the kitchen, picking up ingredients as he went. He can unwind. I'm sure of it.

It did not take long for Prussia to join in on the endeavor, unable to continue watching his brother work while he did nothing. That had been all too common an occurrence since reunification, and it was one he was determined to get rid of. (It didn't help that watching his brother, grown up in a way he had never really considered possible, do something so domestic did strange things to his heart that made it hard for him to stand still). He took up the cleaning rag with practiced ease and followed his brother around the kitchen, wiping away any mess the younger left behind.

"Why are you doing that?" Germany asked once the food was on the stove and able to focus his attention elsewhere. Prussia looked up from the counter spot he was scrubbing and tilted his head questioningly at his brother. "You should let me."

"No, I'll do it. I like cleaning," Prissia replied easily. He turned back to his work without another word, drawing a frown out of Germany. Had Prussia always been this helpful?

Of course he had, Germany realized as he thought about it. He just hadn't been around to notice it. All throughout his childhood Prussia had cleaned up after the rare messes that he had left around the house, and nowadays Germany was very much accustomed to coming home to an impeccably clean house without ever once tidying it up himself. How had he missed so much kindness, such industriousness, for so long? The thought filled him with regret as much as it did admiration for his older brother.

"But why do you help me so much?" Germany blurted out, once again forgetting himself in the familiar presence of his sibling. "You said yourself I don't come around enough."

"Like I said West, I'm Prussia. I've got to work to live. What I do around here is basically all I have left," he replied with a shrug. He wasn't bitter, no, not even resigned, simply accepting, and it burned Germany to see his once-fierce brother reduced to such mundane tasks. "Anyways, you could certainly use the help, if you would just let me."

"I don't need help," Germany retorted, instantly on the defensive. "I'm a hard worker, I don't need anything done for me."

Prussia sighed. "I know that West. The better question is do you?"

Germany tensed, turning his face from his brother. He was a very hard worker, of course he knew he didn't need things done for him. "I don't understand what you mean," he admitted after several moments of tense silence.

"C'mon Lutz. Do you genuinely believe you are a hard enough worker that letting people help you isn't a sign of weakness? That you don't need help doing your work, but that there's nothing wrong with taking a load off once and a while? You don't have to do everything, you know." Prussia reached out and placed a reassuring hand on his brother's shoulder.

Germany refused to meet his brother's eyes. There had been a time when he had known how to share responsibilities, when he had not regarded getting help from his brother as a sign of weakness. Ages ago, before the war that had ultimately separated them, Prussia and Germany had shared everything, work being the least interesting of the things that they had done together. It was only after he had been separated from his brother that things had been like this. Suddenly responsible for an entire nation all alone, torn in half and destroyed by war, Germany had known nothing other than working, and working alone. It had been the only thing that had allowed him to ignore the terrible pain that had been seared into his chest when they had separated him from his brother, had rent their double-heart into two separate, single units.

And after decades, when he had finally been reunited with his brother, he had realized with the same amount of hurt burning in his chest that he couldn't let Prussia resume his original place in his life. Working had come to consume him, and he could no longer bear to share it, or himself, the way he once had. He was responsible for his nation, and neglecting that for even a moment was unforgivable. He had to work, because it was all he knew anymore.

"You don't understand," Germany whispered finally. He did not want to tell Prussia about his struggle with himself, the selfish reason why he had shut his brother out since the wall fell, the reason he had never been around and missed (or was it ignored?) all the efforts Prussia made around the house. He didn't Prussia to know the effects their years apart had had on him, didn't want him to know about the crippling insecurities that came when he wasn't working. He didn't want Prussia to know that to share his responsibilities would be akin to admitting he hadn't done enough for his nation after all these years, that every moment he wasted was a moment of torture. He didn't want Prussia to know he wasn't strong enough to share.

"That's the thing, I do," Prussia said quietly, reaching over to brush his fingers over his brother's cheek, turning his face so their eyes met. "I understand more than you realize."

"That's not possible," Germany said, half out of fear, half out of confusion. There was no way Prussia knew all he had gone through, how selfish he'd been. He couldn't.

"West, do you remember when you were younger, and Bismarck had just made you official and all?" Prussia asked gently. Germany nodded, thrown off by the sudden turn in the conversation. "You remember how I was back then. I wouldn't let you do much of anything. I wanted to do the work, I hated sitting and being idle, and I hated letting my baby brother do work that I was meant to do. Me, the great Prussia, helped by my little brother? The thought was laughable to me." Prussia smiled ruefully as he reminisced, moving to hop up onto the counter and take a seat. Germany raised an eyebrow, tempted to point out that now it would need to be cleaned again. However, his brother's words struck a chord with him, calling forth memories that banished any thoughts of Prussia sitting on the counter.

"Yeah, and I was always bored out of my mind. Even Bavaria let me hang around and work more than you did, and he was probably the least fond of me out of anyone," Germany grumbled.

Prussia laughed heartily. "Oh God yeah he couldn't stand you," he managed through his chortling, his shoulders shaking with the effort of containing it. Germany watched the way Prussia's body moved with his laughter, wondering when the last time they had just sat around and laughed together. It struck him as sad that he couldn't remember, even more so that the first genuine laughter he was witnessing from Prussia in ages was during such a depressing conversation.

"That bastard's still a little bitter about the whole unification thing," Prussia continued with a snicker, unaware of his brother's unusual level of attention. "But Herr Bavaria, fun as he isn't, is not what this is all about. This is about you and me." He looked at Germany meaningfully, hoping to bring the conversation back on topic.

Hearing Prussia say "you and me," accompanied with the intensity of his brother's gaze, made Germany's chest feel oddly light. He watched his brothers lips with intense interest as the other spoke, intent on ignoring the strange feelings that had been swirling in him since Prussia had hugged him earlier.

"I..." Prussia began, struggling to find the words. He knew Germany would understand, that younger was experiencing the same things that he had long ago, and yet he was struggling. He had always prided himself in being the infallible, awesome older brother, and even though his official dissolution as Prussia and years behind the Curtain has certainly disproven that, he still clung to the remaining shreds of dignity he had left whenever possible. However, when he looked at Germany, saw the conflict and hurt in his eyes, he knew he had to talk. Anyways, he reasoned to himself, it's not like Germany had never seen him compromised before - the fall of the wall had been a rather emotional reunion, and the period between the wars had been... Intimate for them, to put it mildly.

"I did that because I couldn't bear to let you work. I felt like if I was idle, even for a moment, I would lose my worth as a nation. That Prussian ideal of hard work, I guess, never let me be for a minute. It took that stupid war to show me I couldn't do it alone, but I have to admit it killed me at first to let you be my equal. I felt like I was admitting I wasn't good enough, that I couldn't manage a country that I myself had brought together." Prussia sighed heavily, dropping his gaze away. "I felt that I had failed as a Nation."

"But you didn't!" Ludwig protested. "Things had changed, but that didn't make you weak. You have always been so strong."

Prussia raised his head, a smile lighting up his face as he met Germany's eyes once again. "Exactly. I finally realized that being strong didn't mean working alone. Being strong is being able to work with someone else, to admit that you don't have to do it alone." Light, warm and soft, glowed gently in Prussia's eyes as he stared at Germany. Germany watched, still entranced, as Prussia reached out with a ghost-white hand and brushed his fingers along Germany's cheek. "I must admit, I rather preferred being with you than I did being by myself."

Germany flushed scarlet and felt his throat tighten with a thousand different words that all wanted to be spoken at once, unsure of which ones to say first. On the one hand, his heart had soared at the acknowledgement of their previous relationship, which had gone unmentioned since that fateful day they had been reunified. That kiss had been their first in years, and also their last, with the two of them quickly realizing they had become too accustomed to solitude in their decades apart. However, there had been a reason that they had stayed separate since 1990 - no matter how much he craved that old intimacy with Prussia, he had no idea how to reconcile it with his new work ethic. Sharing all aspects of life, as they once had, was unthinkable to both brothers, who had become oh so accustomed to the difficulty of solitude, so much that the very idea of togetherness was alien to them.

"It took me a long time to fully come to terms with it though," Prussia continued, determined to say what he needed to. He needed Germany to understand that what he was going through could be fixed, and even more importantly, that they could do it together. Because the more Prussia stared at his little brother, the more he realized how much he had hated all the decades of solitude. "You remember, I wasn't always the most receptive to your advances at first. I couldn't admit I needed help. But eventually, you coaxed it out of me, and we were partners, and it was wonderful. Wasn't it wonderful, Lutz?"

Prussia had called him Lutz a few times already, but the significance of it struck him just then. Since the wall fell, he had always been Ludwig, or when Prussia was a little more friendly, Lud or Luddy. Lutz was a name from a different, closer time. Lutz was the name Prussia had whispered in his ear at night between breathless kisses, the name he had murmured gently when Germany had been stressed, the name that Prussia had screamed when Russia had dragged him away that fateful day. Germany nodded dumbly. It had been wonderful being so close to his brother. But that didn't mean he knew how to be anymore.

"Prussia… I don't…"

"Call me Gilbert," Prussia interrupted gently, still smiling.

"Gilbert," Germany said, feeling the name roll off his tongue. It was familiar and not all at once, but saying it warmed him nonetheless. "I… I just don't know how it's going to work. I just feel so…" his throat seized up around the word, his voice breaking.

"You're not broken Lutz," Prussia told him, almost as if he had read his brother's mind. "Just need a little help is all."

"It's not going to be easy," Germany reminded him, already feeling the familiar tightness of anxiety rising in his chest at the thought of having someone assist him. However, the happiness that his brother had brought him made it easier. With Prussia there, he could breathe.

"That's okay Lutz, it wasn't for me either. We can do this together, and I'll be here as much or as little as you need until this all gets sorted out, okay?" Prussia reassured him. Germany smiled slightly and leaned forward, pressing his forehead to Prussia's.

"Okay," he whispered, so quietly that Prussia wouldn't have heard if not for their proximity. Prussia's heart raced. He had not been so close to Germany in years, and he could feel his brother's hot breath on his cheeks, the softness of his skin. This was what he had missed so much.

Ring!

The brothers sprang apart, startled by the sudden noise from the stovetop, where a kitchen timer reminded them impatiently of how long it had been since they had put the potatoes on to boil. They stood a moment, slightly stunned by the interruption, blue and red eyes finding first each other, then moving to the stove, and then back again.

Prussia was the first to say anything, breaking the tension between them with a barking laugh. "Shit Lutz, don't get so jumpy, it's just the potatoes."

Germany raised his eyebrows, slightly amused. "You jumped too, you know," he pointed out. Prussia huffed and crossed his arms, but did not stop smiling.

"Well fine, we jumped. Let's get dinner ready, shall we?"

Germany helped Prussia down from his perch on the countertop and proceeded to take the potatoes off the heat, straining them and taking out the supplies to mash them. The pair worked in companionable silence, each falling easily into place side by side as they worked, and somehow it felt as if nothing had changed from decades ago. And once dinner was all prepared, they took it to the couch and wrapped themselves in blankets, finally managing to find their voices again enough to catch up a little bit. Every so often their knees would brush, or Germany would catch Prussia staring, and they both would blush a little and look away, taking a few moments to collect themselves before shyly beginning to speak again. It was slow going between the two of them, but when they moved from the couch back to the kitchen to do the dishes Germany let Prussia do half of the cleaning, and Prussia made sure that their elbows brushed more than once as they worked. The effect it had on Germany was electrifying.

They retired back to the couch, sitting closer this time. Prussia eventually gave up on waiting for Germany to make a move after the second hour of conversation, shifting his body so their sides were pressed together. Even with both their shirts in the way, being able so close to his brother was soothing and exciting all at once, and he found himself not minding being in the unusual place of the pursuer. Later that night, when they went to go to their separate rooms for bed, Prussia's hand found Germany's and tugged them into his room, which had once been their room, and for the first time in decades they shared a bed for the night. They slept bare, skin to skin and holding one another. There was nothing sexual about it, no, they craved physical intimacy of a deeper kind. The brothers revelled instead in the simple trust and love of sleeping completely vulnerable in each other's arms.

The next day, Prussia let Germany sleep in. The younger woke late to breakfast in bed, and with Prussia's careful planning they managed to keep Germany distracted from the reality of his day off for the whole day. And the day after that, Prussia put on a real suit for the first time in a long time, and followed Germany into work for the first time ever.

It took a long time for them to become fully adjusted - there were still days that Germany insisted on working alone, and days that Prussia became bitter over the things he wasn't allowed to help with. But things also got much better. Prussia attended university in the mornings and worked with Germany in the afternoon, and found himself feeling more invigorated and alive than he had in years. Germany, with the help of his brother, found himself suddenly handling a manageable workload and slowly relearning his worth outside of his work. In the evenings, after work and chores were done, the two of them would relax on the couch and talk. Prussia would offer what new things he had learned in his classes, and Germany would tell tales of the conferences and meetings Prussia did not attend due to his studies. They were home so much more often that they even finally replaced the dogs that Germany had lost during the War, which were yet another new light in both of their lives. And at night, after all the tasks were taken care of (because they both were still hard workers, after all), they would crawl into bed together and sleep in each other's arms. The physical intimacy they had shared before the War returned slowly as well, until they felt truly reunified in every sense.

And both of them, on the days off that they took (which were far more frequent now), found themselves finally able to truly relax, sound in the knowledge that they were strong, if only they were together.

* * *

><p>AN:

1. My headcanon on Prussia being a hard worker is based on the whole stereotype of Prussian efficiency and industriousness (which went along with the stereotype about their militaristic culture).

2. The "Lady" who Prussia refers to is Angela Merkel, who is known for being an avid football (soccer) fan!

3. Otto Von Bismarck was responsible for the unification of Germany which was basically official in 1871. Bavaria, a German state just north of Austria, wasn't really fond of the idea of unification under Prussia for a lot of reasons.

4. "Bavaria, as much fun as he isn't," — I have a headcanon that the German states all survive as the Länder of Germany (basically provinces/states). Bavaria the province still has a little bit of an individual character within Germany, according to my lovely German friend holytoniempire

5. Following World War One, Prussian influence in Germany decreased over time, which I am LOOSELY interpreting as the brothers sharing more power as time went on (really, Prussia was effectively rendered politically ineffective within Germany as a political unit in the early-mid 1930's).

6. Prussia going behind the Curtain is a reference to East Germany being a part of the Soviet Bloc after WW2. The "wall" is the Berlin wall, which fell 9/10 November 1989.

7. I reference a kiss at the Mauerfall (fall of the Berlin wall). If you wish to read about this, my fic "Mauerfall" contains this part of this little storyline.

I wrote this fic to cope with my own anxiety about having nothing to do after finals, and it just kind of got out of hand. I hope you guys like it! 3


End file.
